Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.
  • This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.
  • I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.
  • If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.
  • No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.
  • Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.