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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Trending via Messenger:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Live now on Discord:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Trending via YouTube:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Live now on Slack:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Shared recently on Messenger:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

2 weeks ago

Humorous text about parents' wisdom on loud music and nostalgia.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎶 "Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud." 🎵 Looks like we've officially reached the age where we appreciate a quiet night in over a raging concert! 😂 Who knew we'd actually start missing the sound of silence? 🤫 #FeelingOldButWise

humor, loud, music, nostalgia, parents, realization, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Threads this month:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

36 shares on X this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Meow means woof in cat.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,758

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Going bananas on WeChat:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Seen just now on Threads:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Just landed via WeChat:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Breaking via Messenger:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Making waves on TikTok:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

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