Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,999

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Just shared via YouTube:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Trending via Reddit:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Just landed via WeChat:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Making waves on Threads:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Live now on Facebook:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Live now on Threads:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

2 months ago

0

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎶 "Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud." 🎵 Looks like we've officially reached the age where we appreciate a quiet night in over a raging concert! 😂 Who knew we'd actually start missing the sound of silence? 🤫 #FeelingOldButWise

humor, loud, music, nostalgia, parents, realization, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

0

2 months ago

buy, cooking, expectations, food, frustration, humor, looking, online, recipe, simplicity, stuff, where
Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

0

2 months ago

being, dancing, fun, girl, humor, Molly, name, party, rave, situation, tough
I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

0

2 months ago

decision, done, Elvis, fast, humor, ID, marriage, married, meet, person, wanted, wedding
I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

0

2 months ago

dating, ghosted, humor, investigator, paranormal, relationships, resume
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

0

2 months ago

lazy, morning, nap, night, sleep, tired
People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

0

2 months ago

always, conversation, debate, hear, humor, just, people, perspective, Satan, saying, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Reddit this month:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

76 shares on Threads this month:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

61 shares on Discord this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,597

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Just landed via Discord:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Going viral on YouTube:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Breaking via Slack:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Going viral on Twitch:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Just shared via Slack:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Spotted on Twitch:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

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