Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Seen just now on Instagram:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Trending via Snapchat:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Shared recently on Discord:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Just shared via Threads:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

1 month ago

Humorous text about parents' wisdom on loud music and nostalgia.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎶 "Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud." 🎵 Looks like we've officially reached the age where we appreciate a quiet night in over a raging concert! 😂 Who knew we'd actually start missing the sound of silence? 🤫 #FeelingOldButWise

humor, loud, music, nostalgia, parents, realization, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

1 month ago

alternate, chop, cry, human, humans, humor, know, onion, onions, universe, where
Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

1 month ago

big, brussels, Brussels sprout, cabbage, comedy, food, humor, invention, joke, little, satire, sell, sprout, vegetable
I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

4 weeks ago

alive, Chinese, Chinese food, commercial, food, humor, i, life, once, seen
Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

3 weeks ago

annoyed, freedom, frustration, humor, i, job, life, live, want, work
Life begins when you can afford it.

1 month ago

adulting, afford, beginning, humor, life, money, perspective
I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

4 weeks ago

back, boundary, communication, conversation, end, enjoy, enjoyment, i, interaction, kind, life, living, modern, modern life, silence, simply, social, social interaction, texting, where, world

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

44 shares on X this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,524

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Spotted on Twitch:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Trending via WeChat:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Shared recently on Slack:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Trending via Pinterest:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Just landed via Discord:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Live now on Slack:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Spotted on Slack:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Just shared via Slack:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴