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TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?