Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Just shared via Discord:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Spotted on Instagram:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Trending via WeChat:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Just shared via YouTube:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Humorous text about awkwardly flirting and letting go at the bar.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of picking up women at the bar, only to be the perfect gentleman and gently set them down afterwards. 🍸💃🧘‍♂️ Talk about the smoothest bar behavior ever! 😄 #gentlemanrules"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

58 shares on X this month:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I will sit in the rain about this.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

This email could’ve been sex.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Going bananas on Reddit:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Just shared via WeChat:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Making waves on Reddit:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

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