Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Bringing home a toothless stranger sounds like the plot of a wacky reality show! 🤪🦷 But hey, it's all part of the magical journey of parenthood! 🌟👶"

baby, crazy, home, humor, know, parenting, pregnancy, someone, surprise, teeth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

6 months ago

book, Britannica, encyclopedia, humor, knowledge, laugh, never, offline, set, technology, want, wifi
I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

2 months ago

bond, character, fat, film, humor, i, james, James Bond, parody, ready, stereotype, think, world
My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

2 months ago

change, crush, found, humor, i, information, just, lack, lack of information, life, life change, once, perspective, realization, relationships
My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

2 months ago

age, ages, belief, context, demon, humor, middle, middle age, people, possession, reaction, reason, sneeze
The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

2 months ago

everyone, getting, humor, irony, lightning, mishap, seeing, skeleton, visibility, worst, worst part
Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

2 months ago

doo, every, just, landlord, people, property, scare, scooby, Scooby Doo, sell, show, trying, villain, woke

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

23 shares on Discord this month:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

58 shares on Discord this month:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Spotted on Facebook:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Spotted on Threads:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Breaking via WeChat:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Just landed via X:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Trending via Telegram:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Making waves on Instagram:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨