Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Bringing home a toothless stranger sounds like the plot of a wacky reality show! 🤪🦷 But hey, it's all part of the magical journey of parenthood! 🌟👶"

baby, crazy, home, humor, know, parenting, pregnancy, someone, surprise, teeth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

1 month ago

age, asleep, fall, fall asleep, frisky, humor, movie, movie theater, relationship, theater, where
Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

2 months ago

communication, email, hilarious, humor, meeting, sexting, think, truly
Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

2 months ago

age, career, career change, change, drug, drug kingpin, high, high school teacher, humor, i, inspiration, kingpin, old, possibility, remember, school, teacher, think, too, walter, Walter White, white
Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

2 months ago

back, coming, comparison, dysfunctional, dysfunctional family, family, humor, media, return, returning, social, social media, Twitter
I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

2 months ago

arguing, confidence, debate, explaining, humor, just, right, wit
I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

2 months ago

art, body, body art, confidence, humor, i, irony, let, place, self-esteem, someone, tattoo, visibility, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

46 shares on X this month:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

24 shares on Reddit this month:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

80 shares on Threads this month:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

He took my last fry, your honor.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Breaking via Discord:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Just landed via X:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Just landed via WeChat:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Just shared via Slack:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I think God was high when he made me.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨