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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Just landed via Instagram:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Seen just now on Facebook:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Trending via Discord:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Making waves on Facebook:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Seen just now on Reddit:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Live now on YouTube:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Talk about getting into the vacation spirit…nothing says 'relaxing beach getaway' quite like a classic shark horror film! 🦈🏖️ Just remember to keep an eye out for any unexpected visitors while you're soaking up the sun. Happy swimming…I mean, vacationing!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

51 shares on X this month:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

71 shares on X this month:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

16 shares on X this month:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Live now on Threads:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Live now on Twitch:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Trending via Threads:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Making waves on X:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Trending via X:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Trending via Instagram:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

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