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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Making waves on Instagram:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Making waves on Instagram:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Freshly posted on X:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Just shared via Discord:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Going viral on YouTube:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Seen just now on Discord:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Breaking via WeChat:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Witty quote highlighting the humorous pain of studying for a PhD.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew getting a PhD could be so…painful? 🤓📚 But hey, at least you can proudly say you've endured the 'reading for pain' phase, right? 😅 #PhDlife"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on X this month:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

37 shares on X this month:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,649

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Just shared via YouTube:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Going viral on Slack:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Trending via Discord:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Seen just now on X:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Making waves on WeChat:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

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