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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Iโ€™m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Iโ€™m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and Iโ€™ll be like: โ€œWow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was thenโ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Live now on Messenger:

When I die I want people to say โ€œHmm, I didnโ€™t know you could die like that.โ€

Shared recently on X:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Spotted on Messenger:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Just shared via YouTube:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Just landed via YouTube:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Trending via Facebook:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Seen just now on Threads:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.
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Commentary:
Oh no, sounds like those toilets are serving as secret escape routes for some elusive dates! ๐Ÿ‘€ Maybe they've been lured away by the call of the wild…or maybe they just got lost in the maze of toilet stalls? ๐Ÿšฝ๐Ÿ’จ Dates disappearing into thin air at the restaurant? Time to investigate or start serving a GPS service with the meals! ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿฝ๏ธ

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

King Kong shouldโ€™ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has viewed:

I donโ€™t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

Stretching my back isnโ€™t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Isnโ€™t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one youโ€™re using to read this?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Just landed via Telegram:

Me: Iโ€™ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like โ€œprofessional goalsโ€.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Canโ€™t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now Iโ€™m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Reported on TikTok:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Freshly posted on X:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt youโ€™re okay with eating.

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