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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,900

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My recliner and I go way back.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Just shared via Instagram:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

2 months ago

0

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, sounds like those toilets are serving as secret escape routes for some elusive dates! 👀 Maybe they've been lured away by the call of the wild…or maybe they just got lost in the maze of toilet stalls? 🚽💨 Dates disappearing into thin air at the restaurant? Time to investigate or start serving a GPS service with the meals! 🕵️‍♂️🍽️

bathroom, danger, dangerous, date, gone, humor, joke, relationship, restaurant, toilet, toilets, vanish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beautiful name, boy, boys, boys’ names, culture, fantasy, Frodo, humor, name, names, pop, pop culture, ring, wordplay
We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

0

2 months ago

coworker, expectancy, humor, life, life expectancy, office, office life, purpose, stress, ten, workplace, workplace humor, workplace stress
Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

0

2 months ago

encouragement, good, health, humor, i, job, me, mental, mental health, praise, saying, self-esteem, self-improvement, self-talk, therapist, therapy, thing, yay
There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

0

5 months ago

before, diet, food, foods, health, humor, never, nutrition, protein, science, surprise
The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

0

2 months ago

access, easy, equipment, humor, media, people, podcast, problem, technology, too
When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

0

1 month ago

always, gift, humor, lemon, lemons, life, maybe, perspective, sarcasm, self, take, think, thinking, thought, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

35 shares on Slack this month:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

28 shares on Facebook this month:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we skip to the rich part?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,928

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Spotted on WeChat:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Live now on Snapchat:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Going viral on Slack:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Spotted on Telegram:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Breaking via Threads:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Just landed via WeChat:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

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