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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

24 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Shared recently on X:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Spotted on Slack:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Shared recently on X:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Just landed via YouTube:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Spotted on TikTok:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Just shared via X:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

6 months ago

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, self-awareness, the double-edged lightsaber of personal knowledge 🔪. It's like finding out you're both the hero and the comic relief in your life's movie 🎬. Sure, knowing yourself is great, but the cost? Let's just say ignorance might've been blissful, but it had terrible taste in music 🎵."

better, cost, humor, i, introspection, irony, know, knowing, myself, self-awareness, sword, two-edged, two-edged sword, yay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

24 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Breaking via X:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Going viral on YouTube:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Just landed via Reddit:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Going viral on Twitch:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Going viral on Threads:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Making waves on X:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Just landed via X:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Just shared via Telegram:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

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