Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Trending via YouTube:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Just landed via Reddit:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Shared recently on X:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Playful quote imagining a superhero app for capturing random outdoor sounds.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Introducing… Shazam for the mysterious clanks, bangs, and booms outside your window! 🎶🔊 Finally, you can solve the ultimate modern-day mystery: 'Who's making that racket at 3 AM?' 😂🕵️‍♂️ #ShazamForNoises"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

71 shares on X this month:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

47 shares on X this month:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,414

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Just landed via Telegram:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Going viral on Instagram:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Breaking via WeChat:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

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