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Commentary:
Looks like she really knows how to make a trip to the doctor's office unforgettable! 💸🍔🔪😂 But hey, at least your wallet got a workout along with your arm! 💪💉 #MedicalDrama

appointment, appointments, arm, doctor, fat, hate, humor, i, me, money, stab

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

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3 months ago

communication, days, definitely, humor, life, married, married life, me, misunderstanding, never, only, partner, relationship, repetition, row, same, say, sentence, telling, told
You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

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1 month ago

beautiful, beauty, combative, contrast, detained, humor, interaction, personality, personality contrast, questioning, sarcasm, situation, unexpected, unexpected situation
Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

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2 months ago

astrology, blame, blaming, failures, growth, humor, learn, lightheartedness, personal, personal growth, planets, self-help, stop, yourself
I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

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2 months ago

again, celebrity, football, game, guy, humor, i, sports, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, today, wonder
It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

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2 months ago

alcohol, alone, drinking, humor, office, social, work
Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

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2 months ago

care, child, funny situation, getting, health, health care, humor, immunizations, inappropriate, office, parenting, pediatrician, shots, situation, yell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Discord this month:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

61 shares on Slack this month:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

57 shares on Threads this month:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Spotted on Facebook:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Spotted on WeChat:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Going bananas on Telegram:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨