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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,375

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Going viral on X:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Just shared via Facebook:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Just landed via X:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Just shared via Telegram:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Just shared via YouTube:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about questioning bottled water prices, with a playful, humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, isn't that a clever twist of fate! 😂 Who knew that all this time, Evian water was just "naive" spelled backwards? 💧💡 Looks like we've stumbled upon the secret of pricey bottled water – it's all in the name! 🤣 Remember, sometimes the most valuable insights come from simply looking at things from a different angle!

backwards, Evian, fortune, humor, i, little, paid, people, read, used, water, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Reddit this month:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

28 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

54 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Just landed via TikTok:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Spotted on Messenger:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Trending via Discord:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Just landed via X:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Going viral on Discord:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

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