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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has bookmarked:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has viewed:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has shared:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Threads:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Breaking via Threads:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Live now on Pinterest:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Spotted on Pinterest:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

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So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.
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Commentary:
Well, isn't that a clever twist of fate! πŸ˜‚ Who knew that all this time, Evian water was just "naive" spelled backwards? πŸ’§πŸ’‘ Looks like we've stumbled upon the secret of pricey bottled water – it's all in the name! 🀣 Remember, sometimes the most valuable insights come from simply looking at things from a different angle!

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Threads this month:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

11 shares on Discord this month:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

16 shares on Discord this month:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has copied:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has copied:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has copied:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has copied:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has shared:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has copied:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Threads:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Going viral on Facebook:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Trending via Telegram:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Just landed via Twitch:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst KΓ€se scenario.

Going viral on Discord:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Trending via Snapchat:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

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