Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Just shared via WeChat:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Making waves on Instagram:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Going viral on X:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Trending via Snapchat:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Just landed via Slack:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Just shared via YouTube:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Breaking via X:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Witty quote comparing people to clouds, humorously suggesting things improve when they leave.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, just like clouds, some people bring nothing but shade and rain into our lives ☁️☔️ Good riddance to those stormy souls! 😂 #ClearSkiesAhead"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

77 shares on X this month:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

22 shares on Threads this month:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

25 shares on Discord this month:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,341

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Breaking via Reddit:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Broadcasted on Discord:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Just landed via Threads:

They’re making me do work at work.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Trending via Instagram:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Freshly posted on X:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

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