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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,754

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Live now on Facebook:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Just landed via YouTube:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Seen just now on Threads:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Making waves on Telegram:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Just shared via TikTok:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Just landed via Telegram:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Making waves on Telegram:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

1 month ago

Funny quote about advice from late 20s to early 20s, playful and witty in tone.

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Commentary:
"Offering advice in your late 20s to someone in their early 20s is like a toddler trying to guide a newbie on their very first steps in the wide world of adulthood! 🧒👶 While your intentions might be well-meaning, there's no denying the comical mismatch in experience levels. Just remember, we're all in this chaotic journey together! 🌟😄"

20s, advice, early, early 20’s, exactly, gap, generational, generational gap, giving, humor, late, late 20s, life, life stage, newborn, obsession, someone, stage, toddler

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Threads this month:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

All human behavior is performative, besides the crying of an infant.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,753

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Breaking via TikTok:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Just shared via Slack:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Spotted on X:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

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