Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.
  • You are the Monday of my life.
  • If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.
  • What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?
  • Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.
  • Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.