Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,766

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Making waves on Reddit:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Trending via Telegram:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Trending via Messenger:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Making waves on Discord:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Just shared via Reddit:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about pretending to understand big words to sound more photosynthesis-related.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the sheer brilliance of using big words to sound photosynthesis! 🌱 Just remember, it's not about the size of the vocabulary, but the way you conjugate the words in the ecosystem of conversation. 😜 Let your linguistic branches reach high, but don't get lost in the forest of confusion!"

big, big word, communication, effort, humor, i, irony, language, photosynthesis, understanding, word, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Discord this month:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Going viral on Messenger:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Just landed via YouTube:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Making waves on Slack:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Making waves on Slack:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

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