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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Trending via Snapchat:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Going bananas on Messenger:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Making waves on Twitch:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Going viral on Threads:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

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Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.
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Commentary:
Oh, the universe pulling a classic "let's see if you've learned anything" move! 🌌😂 It's like a cosmic replay button reminding us to level up and stop hitting repeat on the same ol' mistakes! Remember, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well, maybe I need to reevaluate my life choices. 🔄🙈 #CosmicLessons

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

55 shares on Slack this month:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

27 shares on Threads this month:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Making waves on Discord:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Just shared via Twitch:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Just shared via X:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Shared recently on X:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Spotted on Twitch:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Spotted on Threads:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

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