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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

11 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Trending via Instagram:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Trending via Threads:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

6 months ago

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

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Commentary:
Oh, the universe pulling a classic "let's see if you've learned anything" move! 🌌😂 It's like a cosmic replay button reminding us to level up and stop hitting repeat on the same ol' mistakes! Remember, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well, maybe I need to reevaluate my life choices. 🔄🙈 #CosmicLessons

again, humor, idiot, irony, lesson, life, life lesson, mistakes, repeat, same, self-awareness, situations, sometimes, still, universe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

11 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Going viral on WeChat:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Shared recently on Slack:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Making waves on YouTube:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Shared recently on Threads:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Just landed via Discord:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

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