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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

23 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Shared recently on Threads:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Spreading quickly via X:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Just landed via X:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Just landed via Slack:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

6 months ago

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

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Commentary:
Oh, the universe pulling a classic "let's see if you've learned anything" move! 🌌😂 It's like a cosmic replay button reminding us to level up and stop hitting repeat on the same ol' mistakes! Remember, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well, maybe I need to reevaluate my life choices. 🔄🙈 #CosmicLessons

again, humor, idiot, irony, lesson, life, life lesson, mistakes, repeat, same, self-awareness, situations, sometimes, still, universe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

23 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Just landed via WeChat:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Live now on YouTube:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Going viral on Slack:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Shared recently on Threads:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

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