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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Reported on Instagram:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Just landed via WeChat:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Trending via Snapchat:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of unrequited love… or maybe just a case of selective blindness? 🤷‍♂️ Here we have a true mystery: what magic spell did this guy cast to make her choose no attention over 15 others?! 🔮😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Trending via Snapchat:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Making waves on Discord:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Trending via TikTok:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Making waves on YouTube:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Just shared via Threads:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

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