Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like that 4-year-old has a stand-up comedy career in the making! 🎤 Who needs plans when you have a mini comedian on the loose? 😄 #FutureComedyStar"

excuse, family, hang, hang out, humor, i, joke, kid, parenting, sorry, still, think, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

0

2 months ago

being, clothing, comfort, feels, humor, irony, naked, nakedness, sh
The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

0

2 months ago

comfort, experience, fine, guest, guest room, humor, i, mattress, room, sleep
That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

0

2 months ago

distraction, emails, Facebook, funny moment, insta, know, media, moment, new, procrastination, should, social, social media, start, work, working, x, YouTube
I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

0

2 months ago

back, being, cartoon, cat, cats, doing, humor, i, jerry, job, lazy, mouse, noticed, pets, problem, tom, Tom and Jerry, yelling
Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

0

2 months ago

best, culture, Ferrari, food, humor, irony, Japan, mexican, Mexican food, never, point, take, toilets, track, tragedy
Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

0

5 months ago

app, apps, date, dating, dating app, delete, deleting, department, hr, HR department, humor, meet, old fashioned, relationship, someone, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

80 shares on Threads this month:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Just shared via Instagram:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Live now on Reddit:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Trending via Discord:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Just landed via Messenger:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Just shared via Slack:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨