Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Stop being a professional self-critic and start a new career in self-appreciation! 🌟 Get specific about what you love about yourself instead of what you hate. Let your inner cheerleader out to play! 📣💪"

everything, humor, positivity, self-acceptance, self-hate, self-improvement, specific, specificity, stop, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

0

2 months ago

couch, day, day off, home, humor, i, leisure, procrastination, relaxation, screen, sit, stare, staycation, thinking, TV, wait, while, work
It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

0

4 weeks ago

accomplish, amazing, around, before, cleaning, coming, house, housework, humor, i, motivation, much, over, preparation, procrastination, productivity, right, someone, visitor
Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

0

2 months ago

apology, being, being right, correct, correctness, humor, i, right, said, sarcasm, sorry, stuff
Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

0

4 weeks ago

boss, capture, childlike, childlike joy, December, excuse, holiday, holiday spirit, humor, i, joy, procrastination, sorry, spirit, today, trying, work
I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

0

2 months ago

activity, asleep, boredom, boring, conversation, counting, fall, funny activity, humor, i, sheep, shepherd, sleep, talking
There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

0

2 months ago

behavior, dog, dogs, drug-sniffing, drug-sniffing dog, guide, guide dog, humor, life, pet, pet behavior, pets, poop, save

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

54 shares on Slack this month:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

77 shares on X this month:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Trending via Telegram:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Going viral on WeChat:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Making waves on Snapchat:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Going viral on Slack:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Just shared via X:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨