Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.
  • Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?
  • Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.
  • I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.
  • Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.
  • Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.