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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

4,010

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Making waves on WeChat:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Freshly posted on Slack:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Going viral on Reddit:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

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Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.
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Commentary:
Looks like someone is feeling small in the presence of giants! 🌳 Maybe they're just trying to get a better view of life… or they were just really hungry! 🦒 Just be sure to stay out of reach if they start munching on your houseplants! 🌿

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

87 shares on Threads this month:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve disappointed better people.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,875

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Trending via Discord:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Just shared via Telegram:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Breaking via Threads:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Going viral on Messenger:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Shared recently on Instagram:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Just landed via TikTok:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Shared recently on Slack:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

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