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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

2 hours ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Breaking via Twitch:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Making waves on Messenger:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Freshly posted on X:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Trending via Discord:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Just shared via Slack:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

6 months ago

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

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Commentary:
Looks like someone is feeling small in the presence of giants! 🌳 Maybe they're just trying to get a better view of life… or they were just really hungry! 🦒 Just be sure to stay out of reach if they start munching on your houseplants! 🌿

doing, eating, funny observation, height, hell, humor, leaf, me, nervous, observation, people, stop, tall, tall people, tree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

2 hours ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Trending via Facebook:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Going viral on WeChat:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Going viral on Threads:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Spotted on TikTok:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Going viral on Instagram:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

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