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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Slack:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Just landed via X:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Shared recently on TikTok:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Breaking via Threads:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

6 months ago

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

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Commentary:
Looks like someone is feeling small in the presence of giants! 🌳 Maybe they're just trying to get a better view of life… or they were just really hungry! 🦒 Just be sure to stay out of reach if they start munching on your houseplants! 🌿

doing, eating, funny observation, height, hell, humor, leaf, me, nervous, observation, people, stop, tall, tall people, tree

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

“It’s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Making waves on Instagram:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Going viral on Twitch:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Reported on Messenger:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Shared recently on Slack:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

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