Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.
  • I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.
  • Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.
  • When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.
  • Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.
  • Kid, I have jeans older than you.