Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.
  • You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.
  • Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.
  • Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.
  • A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.
  • My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.