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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Just landed via Twitch:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Going viral on X:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Going viral on X:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Just landed via Messenger:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Going viral on Facebook:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Just shared via WeChat:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

0
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
😄🏃‍♂️ "The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it… a sign that they're either really enjoying their run or they just saw a squirrel do something hilarious. Keep an eye out for those elusive happy joggers – they might be onto something!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Instagram this month:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

71 shares on X this month:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

28 shares on X this month:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Trending via YouTube:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Just landed via YouTube:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Going viral on Facebook:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Trending via TikTok:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Going viral on X:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Making waves on Facebook:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

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