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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Going viral on TikTok:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Spotted on Reddit:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Going viral on TikTok:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Trending via Pinterest:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Just shared via Threads:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

0
The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.
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Commentary:
Well, it seems like the only list this person is making is their NOT-So-Little Black Book of Women Who Have Dodged a Bullet! 📋😂 It's definitely an interesting way to spin not being everyone's cup of tea! ☕️🚫 #HumbleBraggingGoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

46 shares on Discord this month:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Farting, but with eye contact.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Friends with consequences.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Going viral on Messenger:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Making waves on Snapchat:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Going bananas on Discord:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

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