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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve had enough. I’m ready to spend an eternity in the arms of my lover.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Just shared via TikTok:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Just shared via Telegram:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Spotted on WeChat:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Spotted on X:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about financial struggles and avoiding exercise with witty humor.

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Commentary:
"Looks like your bank account got a little too much cardio this month! 💸🏃‍♂️ Time to switch up those financial fitness routines! 💪💰"

exercise, financial, financial struggle, fitness, humor, joke, money, month, running, struggle

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on X this month:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Making waves on WeChat:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Just shared via Reddit:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Going viral on X:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Live now on Slack:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Spotted on Threads:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Spotted on X:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Keep the laugh going 😂

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨