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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

2 hours ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Spotted on Instagram:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Seen just now on Slack:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Breaking via Instagram:

Talents: eating!

Making waves on Messenger:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Broadcasted on Slack:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Breaking via Telegram:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

6 months ago

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

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Commentary:
"Who knew that the key to taking over the world was a cozy pillow and a comfortable blanket? 💤🌍 Just imagine a villain snuggled up in their lair, dreaming of all the mischief they could cause once they wake up refreshed and ready to conquer. Watch out, world, nap time is over soon! 😈💤"

ambition, domination, good, humor, me, nap, only, procrastination, sleep, thing, world, world domination

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

2 hours ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Reported on Instagram:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Spotted on Reddit:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Making waves on Messenger:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Just landed via Instagram:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Freshly posted on Discord:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

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