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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,906

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Seen just now on X:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Just shared via X:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Going viral on Twitch:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.
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Commentary:
"Who knew that the key to taking over the world was a cozy pillow and a comfortable blanket? 💤🌍 Just imagine a villain snuggled up in their lair, dreaming of all the mischief they could cause once they wake up refreshed and ready to conquer. Watch out, world, nap time is over soon! 😈💤"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,834

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Spotted on YouTube:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Just shared via X:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Just landed via Threads:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

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