Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Just shared via Facebook:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Trending via TikTok:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Just landed via YouTube:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Going viral on Telegram:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The peace of not knowing.

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

0
The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that the key to taking over the world was a cozy pillow and a comfortable blanket? 💤🌍 Just imagine a villain snuggled up in their lair, dreaming of all the mischief they could cause once they wake up refreshed and ready to conquer. Watch out, world, nap time is over soon! 😈💤"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

10 shares on Discord this month:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Live now on YouTube:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Breaking via X:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Making waves on Discord:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴