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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

658 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,251

Funny Quotes Topics

17,375

Funny Quotes Images

15,251

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,039

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Just shared via Threads:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Just shared via Slack:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Trending via Telegram:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Just shared via Instagram:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Seen just now on Discord:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

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The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.
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Commentary:
Oh, so you're looking for the ultimate immersive rainforest dining experience! 🌿🦜 Don't worry, I'm sure the staff will make sure your meal comes with a side of bulldozer noises for that extra touch of authenticity! 🚜🍴 Just be prepared to dine in between construction zones for that true rainforest adventure! 🌧️🌳 #RainforestDiningGoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Discord this month:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

13 shares on X this month:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

28 shares on Discord this month:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

658 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,251

Funny Quotes Topics

17,375

Funny Quotes Images

15,251

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,829

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Just shared via Twitch:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Just landed via Facebook:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Making waves on Discord:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

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