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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

24 minutes ago

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Breaking via Twitch:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Making waves on Threads:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Trending via Pinterest:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

6 months ago

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

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Commentary:
Oh, so you're looking for the ultimate immersive rainforest dining experience! 🌿🦜 Don't worry, I'm sure the staff will make sure your meal comes with a side of bulldozer noises for that extra touch of authenticity! 🚜🍴 Just be prepared to dine in between construction zones for that true rainforest adventure! 🌧️🌳 #RainforestDiningGoals

40, authentic, me, restaurant

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

24 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Messenger:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Spotted on Discord:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Live now on Instagram:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Making waves on Twitch:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Trending via Slack:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

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