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Ah, the magical powers of that second cup of coffee! It transforms mere mortals into productivity superheroes faster than you can say "caffeine rush"! ☕💪 Just call me Popeye the Coffee Addict! 🤣

caffeine, coffee, comparison, cup, energy, humor, me, motivation, Popeye, second, spinach

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

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2 months ago

chip, chips, food, food humor, gambling, gambling problem, game, humor, ID, joking, played, poker, potato, potato chip, problem, snack
The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

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2 months ago

filter, grass, greener, humor, illusion, just, over, perception, perspective, reality, sarcasm
Last night’s dream could have been an email.

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5 months ago

communication, dream, email, humor, last, night, nights, sleep, technology
Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

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3 months ago

am, annoying, attitude, humor, i, just, permanence, personality, self-awareness, super, worry, yes
Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

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2 months ago

appointment, dental, dentist, humor, joke, late, me, should, start, tell
Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

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4 weeks ago

alien, aliens, apocalypse, better, future, humor, ladybug, mutant, mutant ladybug, over, robot, robots, sci-fi, takeover

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

36 shares on YouTube this month:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Breaking via Reddit:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Making waves on TikTok:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Spotted on Slack:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Shared recently on Threads:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Breaking via Telegram:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Going viral on Threads:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Spotted on WeChat:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

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Activity Log ✨

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨