Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.
  • Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.
  • One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.
  • I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.
  • Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.
  • When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.