Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

2 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Just landed via TikTok:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Going viral on X:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Breaking via Reddit:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Breaking via Twitch:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Just landed via Messenger:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Jan 24, 2025

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the morning bladder – the ultimate wakeup call with a dash of urgency! 🚽💦 It's like our bodies are in a race against time while we're just trying to get the day started. Slow down, bladder, slow down! 😂 #MorningStruggles"

aggressive, bro, chill, come out, getting, humor, morning, pee, threaten, urge

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

2 minutes ago

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Spotted on Facebook:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Making waves on Pinterest:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴