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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Seen just now on Discord:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Making waves on Telegram:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Going viral on Twitch:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Just shared via Messenger:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

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The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the morning bladder – the ultimate wakeup call with a dash of urgency! 🚽💦 It's like our bodies are in a race against time while we're just trying to get the day started. Slow down, bladder, slow down! 😂 #MorningStruggles"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

71 shares on Threads this month:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

90 shares on Discord this month:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Going viral on Facebook:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Trending via Slack:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Just landed via Discord:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Spotted on Instagram:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Trending via Telegram:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Seen just now on Facebook:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

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