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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,730

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Going viral on Slack:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Seen just now on Facebook:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Breaking via Reddit:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Making waves on X:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about online shopping frustrations with a playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Online shopping: where the struggle is real, but the sofa is comfy. 💳👜💻 #FirstWorldProblems"

card, convenience, credit, credit card, experience, humor, laziness, online, online shopping, purse, shopping, shopping experience, shopping struggle, struggle, worst

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

54 shares on Slack this month:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

11 shares on Discord this month:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Seen just now on Threads:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Live now on Facebook:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Breaking via Telegram:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Making waves on X:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Trending via Messenger:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Just landed via Telegram:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Just shared via Twitch:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Going viral on Slack:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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