Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Breaking via TikTok:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Spotted on X:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Trending via Twitch:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Just shared via Discord:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Shared recently on Twitch:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Seen just now on YouTube:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Just shared via YouTube:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Making waves on Reddit:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Online shopping: where the struggle is real, but the sofa is comfy. 💳👜💻 #FirstWorldProblems"

card, convenience, credit, credit card, experience, humor, laziness, online, online shopping, purse, shopping, shopping experience, shopping struggle, struggle, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

3 months ago

disappointment, expectation, getting, humor, me, money, rich, unexpectedly, week
Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

3 months ago

apology, back, breakup, broke, desire, humor, i, morning, relationship, sleep, sorry, want
All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

2 months ago

A.I., AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, artificial stupidity, being, humor, intelligence, me, office, people, replacement, safe, safety, smart, smart people, stupidity, technology, workplace
I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

2 months ago

birthday, bit, body, embryonic, embryonic fluid, fluid, humor, humorous, i, joke, quirky, satire, traditionalist, unconventional
I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

5 months ago

born, born tired, death, die, ever, exhaustion, humor, i, lying, tell, tired
Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

2 months ago

browser, clear, forgot, grave, history, humor, Jesus, joke, religion, resurrection, rose, tech

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

52 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Breaking via Facebook:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Breaking via TikTok:

Happiness is an inside job.

Just landed via Telegram:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Trending via YouTube:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Going viral on Threads:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨