The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

The worst thing I've seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Commentary:
Seeing a paycheck after a tough day be like: “Is this a joke or a cry for help? 🤦‍♂️💸” Remember, laughter is the best medicine – unfortunately, it doesn’t pay the bills!

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like I’ve finally found someone who can multitask without even trying! 🤣💦 #Skills”

  • I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

    Commentary:
    Hey there, friend! 🌟 Just a gentle reminder that Monday blues are temporary – you’ve got this! 💪 Remember, it’s not the end of the world, it’s just the start of the week! 😁 Keep calm and Monday on! 🚀 #MondayMotivation

  • The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic words sure to spark a wild adventure! 🗺️✨ Who needs a map when you’ve got a shortcut up your sleeve? 🛤️😄 Just remember, sometimes the scenic route is half the fun! 🌄🚗 #AdventureAwaits #ShortcutShenanigans”

  • You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

    Commentary:
    🐶🍽️ “When even the dog turns up his nose at your cooking, you know you’ve reached a whole new level of ‘culinary expertise’. Maybe it’s time to let that microwave have a turn in the spotlight! 😄👩‍🍳

  • The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the accuracy in this one! 🤣 It’s like the universe is playing a cruel joke by making therapy as elusive as finding a unicorn in your backyard. 🦄 Maybe one day we’ll have therapy places as commonplace as Starbucks – a latte for you, a session for me! ☕️💆‍♂️ #TherapyGoals

  • Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

    Commentary:
    Oh man, having a peanut allergy must be quite the adventure! 🥜🐍 Just when you thought dodging foul balls was challenging enough, now you have airborne rattlesnakes to contend with! Talk about taking “peanut gallery” to a whole new level! Stay alert, folks! 🤣🥜🐍 #AllergyAdventures