Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal quest for that one elusive excuse to justify our laziness! If only we put half as much effort into finding motivation as we do in making up excuses 🤷‍♂️💤 #ProcrastinationNation"

excuse, finding, humor, know, laziness, let, let me know, me, procrastination

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

2 months ago

communication, hello, humor, leave, message, speak, technology, toaster, voicemail
I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

2 months ago

account, another, attention, care, device, humor, i, love, me, much, Netflix, relationship, someone, want
Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

2 months ago

comedy, humor, jehovah’s, Jehovah’s Witness, jokes, knock, knock knock, religion, tell, witness, witnesses, worst
Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

2 months ago

apple, apples, bad, blueberry, delicious, disgusting, Doritos, every, food, food humor, fruit, great, humor, inconsistency, know, problem, same, snack, sometimes, taste, time
When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

2 months ago

celebration, excitement, fireworks, fun, hiss, invention, making, sound, wheee
Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

2 months ago

bored, boredom, dating, flirting, humor, interaction, situation, situations, social, social interaction, unwanted, unwanted situation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Messenger this month:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

70 shares on Slack this month:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Trending via Reddit:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Making waves on Discord:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Spotted on YouTube:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Live now on Pinterest:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Making waves on Messenger:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Trending via Telegram:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨