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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Just landed via X:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

Just landed via Slack:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Just shared via Threads:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Live now on Discord:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Seen just now on Threads:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Shared recently on X:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Trending via TikTok:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

0
There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Indeed, going back to work after a vacation is a true test of our mental and emotional fortitude. Maybe a sympathy card with a soothing beach scene and the caption 'May your workload be light and your coffee strong' could do the trick!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Telegram this month:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

56 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

11 shares on Discord this month:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

85 shares on Threads this month:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

30 shares on X this month:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Making waves on Discord:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Making waves on X:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Just shared via Reddit:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

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