Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Trending via Slack:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Going viral on Slack:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Seen just now on Instagram:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

2 weeks ago

Witty text about the struggle of returning to work after vacation, humorous and relatable.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Indeed, going back to work after a vacation is a true test of our mental and emotional fortitude. Maybe a sympathy card with a soothing beach scene and the caption 'May your workload be light and your coffee strong' could do the trick!"

back, card, humor, relaxation, return, sympathy, sympathy card, vacation, work, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

74 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

66 shares on X this month:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,732

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Live now on Reddit:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Spotted on Reddit:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Trending via X:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Just landed via Slack:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴