Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Spotted on Reddit:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Making waves on Discord:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Trending via YouTube:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Making waves on Reddit:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Making waves on TikTok:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

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This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.
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Commentary:
Looks like this room is so exclusive, even the dust particles couldn't make it in! 🎉🚫 It's the ultimate anti-party, where even the walls are too cool to join in the fun! 😄✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Facebook this month:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

79 shares on Slack this month:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Just landed via Twitch:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Just shared via WeChat:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Making waves on X:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Trending via X:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Just shared via Discord:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

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