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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

33 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Live now on YouTube:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Trending via Threads:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Trending via Snapchat:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

5 months ago

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐑 Counting sheep may seem like a harmless sleep aid, but beware – once you start, you might find yourself knee-deep in sheep drama! 🤣 Who knew those fluffy creatures had such complicated lives? Therapy might be in order, not just for them, but for you too! Good luck navigating the woolly world of bedtime stories! 🌙

backstory, counting, emotional, emotional investment, emotionally, humor, i, invested, investment, need, sheep, sleep, therapy, think, tried

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

33 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Just landed via Twitch:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Trending via Twitch:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Breaking via Facebook:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Live now on YouTube:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Just landed via Discord:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Just shared via Reddit:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

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