Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,988

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Trending via Messenger:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Seen just now on X:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Trending via Snapchat:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

2 months ago

0

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, so you're a millennial time traveler, huh? 😂🕰️ Must be tricky keeping up with all those different decades of memes and avocado toast trends! Just make sure you're not sipping on your oat milk latte in the wrong century! 🥑☕ #MillennialTimeTravelerGoals

experience, humor, me, millennium, second, time, trust, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, day, feel, humor, image, observation, shopping, thinnest, through, time, walk, Walmart, want
You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

0

2 months ago

agree, count, fingers, hand, humor, me, number, times, wife
Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

0

2 months ago

agreement, commitment, confusion, expectation, good, humor, lot, me, meeting, realization, response, saying, sounds, workplace
Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

0

2 months ago

call, crazy, happy, humor, me, people, positivity, self-perception, twist
No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

0

4 months ago

anger, attitude, back, emotion, forward, humor, looking, looking back, looking forward, motivation, time
I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

0

2 months ago

addiction, beverage, coffee, Colombia, drink, farmer, humor, i, joke, lot, me, mean, photo, say, wallet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Threads this month:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I have thought one billion times about everything.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,661

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Spotted on Slack:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Going viral on TikTok:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Trending via Twitch:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴