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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2266 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,428

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,428

1 hour ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Making waves on Messenger:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Going viral on Slack:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Seen just now on X:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Making waves on Discord:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Trending via Facebook:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

6 months ago

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Welcome to your 50s, where your joints have upgraded from basic body parts to full-blown meteorologists predicting weather changes with 100% accuracy! ☁️🌡️ Don't be surprised if your knees start complaining about a storm front moving in. ⛈️🦵 Embrace the creaks and cracks, it's just Mother Nature's way of adding some drama to your daily forecast! 🌩️😄"

50s, aging, health, humor, joints, meteorologists, welcome, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2266 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,428

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,428

1 hour ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Messenger:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Live now on X:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Going viral on Twitch:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Making waves on Twitch:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Just shared via Discord:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

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