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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Breaking via Messenger:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Live now on Messenger:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Trending via TikTok:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Seen just now on Threads:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Spotted on Facebook:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

0
Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Welcome to your 50s, where your joints have upgraded from basic body parts to full-blown meteorologists predicting weather changes with 100% accuracy! ☁️🌡️ Don't be surprised if your knees start complaining about a storm front moving in. ⛈️🦵 Embrace the creaks and cracks, it's just Mother Nature's way of adding some drama to your daily forecast! 🌩️😄"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

41 shares on Discord this month:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

98 shares on Discord this month:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,379

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Going viral on TikTok:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I need a break from me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Just landed via X:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Spotted on Threads:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Spotted on Telegram:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

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