Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.
  • Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.
  • Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.
  • Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.
  • Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.
  • I need a chiropractor for my brain.