Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Trending via TikTok:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Making waves on Telegram:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Spotted on Twitch:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

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Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.
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Commentary:
Ah, the joys of reaching your 50s! 🎉 Welcome to the era where your knees hold the power and dictate your sitting schedule. It's like having your own personal knee bosses running the show! 💪😂 Remember to treat them well, or else they might just send you crashing down when you least expect it! Enjoy the sit-down dance of your 50s! 🕺💃

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,591

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Making waves on Discord:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Just shared via Threads:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Spotted on WeChat:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Spotted on WeChat:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Going viral on Threads:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

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