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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,266

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Just landed via Telegram:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Live now on Telegram:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Making waves on Reddit:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Shared recently on Threads:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Live now on Snapchat:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Just landed via Slack:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about aging humorously highlighting knees' newfound authority in your 50s.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the joys of reaching your 50s! 🎉 Welcome to the era where your knees hold the power and dictate your sitting schedule. It's like having your own personal knee bosses running the show! 💪😂 Remember to treat them well, or else they might just send you crashing down when you least expect it! Enjoy the sit-down dance of your 50s! 🕺💃

50s, aging, body, changes, health, humor, knees, life, life changes, sit, sit down, welcome

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

15 shares on Slack this month:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,420

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Seen just now on X:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Seen just now on Slack:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Live now on TikTok:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Trending via Snapchat:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Trending via Threads:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Making waves on TikTok:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

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