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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Shared recently on Threads:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Just landed via YouTube:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Just landed via Snapchat:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Shared recently on Facebook:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Making waves on WeChat:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about outdoor mishaps and bug bites, with a playful, sarcastic vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me trying to embrace nature: 🌿🌞

Nature's response: 🦟🌿🚫

Well then, Mother Nature isn't holding back with her rating system! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 😂"

bugs, experience, grass, humor, nature, outdoor, outside, review, stars

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Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

36 shares on X this month:

29 shares on YouTube this month:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Just landed via Reddit:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Seen just now on Slack:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Just shared via Slack:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Going viral on Messenger:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Live now on Pinterest:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨