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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Making waves on Facebook:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Spotted on Threads:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Making waves on Facebook:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Going viral on WeChat:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

2 months ago

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life is just one big rehab center with unlimited free samples! 🤪💊 Don't worry, some addictions are more socially acceptable than others… like binge-watching Netflix or hoarding shoes 😜👠 Embrace your inner addict with open arms… just maybe not while you're in line at the grocery store 😂🛒 #AddictLife"

addict, addiction, choice, drug, humor, just, life, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

2 months ago

20, age, always, curiosity, ever, forever, future, humor, i, Italy, Japan, long-term, someone, travel, turned, world, world travel
We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

2 months ago

complaining, experience, family, family vacation, kids, me, tantrum, terrible, terrible experience, vacation, whining
The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

2 months ago

announcer, belonging, belongings, forgetfulness, home, humor, just, keep, left, mine, personal, personal belonging, should, times, train, travel, us
Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

5 months ago

best, humor, joke, laughter, medicine, never, revenge, said, saying, tried
My first mistake of my life was my birth.

2 months ago

birth, existential, humor, irony, life, mistake, self-deprecation
I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

2 months ago

attempt, awkwardness, comedy, even, failure, Funny, humor, humor attempt, i, joke, joke failure, meeting, nobody, online, online meeting, social, social awkwardness, today, told, workplace, Zoom, Zoom meeting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on X this month:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

20 shares on Discord this month:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,244

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Spotted on Instagram:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Shared recently on Discord:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Just shared via Facebook:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

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