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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Just landed via X:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Going viral on Discord:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Making waves on WeChat:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Trending via Twitch:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Just shared via Reddit:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Live now on Facebook:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.
We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life is just one big rehab center with unlimited free samples! 🤪💊 Don't worry, some addictions are more socially acceptable than others… like binge-watching Netflix or hoarding shoes 😜👠 Embrace your inner addict with open arms… just maybe not while you're in line at the grocery store 😂🛒 #AddictLife"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Just landed via Twitch:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Reported on Instagram:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Going viral on Threads:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Making waves on TikTok:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Trending via Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

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