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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Just landed via Reddit:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Going viral on Discord:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Just shared via Snapchat:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Breaking via Telegram:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

2 months ago

0

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the wise words of the aspiring mountaineer who prefers solid ground beneath their feet! 🏔️🚶‍♂️ Who needs soaring heights and breathtaking views when you can just enjoy a leisurely stroll in the park, am I right? 🌳😄 #GroundedExplorer"

activity, advice, climbing, fun, fun activity, humor, lot, misunderstanding, mountain, mountain climbing, people, understand

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

0

2 months ago

bouquet, casket, crowd, dark, dark humor, funeral, humor, mortality, next, prank, take, throw
I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

0

2 months ago

act, comfort, expectation, frustration, hate, humor, i, job, man, pillow, should, sleep
Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, discovery, family, half, humor, illness, life, life realization, mental, mental illness, mentally, realization
Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

0

2 months ago

awkward, communication, humor, interaction, joke, misunderstanding, nothing, offline, offline people, online, online joke, people, social, social interaction, tell, trying
The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

0

2 months ago

body, comparison, dead, dead body, difference, garage, humor, i, joke, Lamborghini, possessions, wealth
Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

0

4 months ago

break, breaks, commercial, commercial break, comparison, feel, humor, movie, relaxation, short, short break, stress, stressful, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

90 shares on Threads this month:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have thought one billion times about everything.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh good. Another day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Muting morons is good for your health.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Going viral on Instagram:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Shared recently on Slack:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

Shared recently on Discord:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Just shared via Facebook:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Breaking via YouTube:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Spotted on Facebook:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

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