Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Jan 11, 2026

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Going viral on Pinterest:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Just landed via Messenger:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Shared recently on Slack:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Just shared via Messenger:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

2 months ago

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Talk about a fashion faux pas! 👽👗 Seems like ET is the odd one out in the galaxy's next top model competition! #FashionForwardInSpace 🌌💫"

aliens, clothes, ET, extraterrestrial, funny scenario, humor, imagination, outfit, planet, scenario

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

2 months ago

eye, humor, moon, night, November, season, time, weather
If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

2 months ago

disaster, earthquake, ever, experience, fear, Godzilla, humor, i, monster, reaction, thought
“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

2 months ago

after, bad, cheese, dairy, drinks, eat, health, humor, infancy, kale, Karen, let, mango, me, milk, only, peace, pineapple, smoothie, specy
No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

4 months ago

else, excuse, humor, i, irony, life, phone, plans, procrastination, social, social life, somewhere, tonight
Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

2 months ago

acceptance, age, Alexa, ask, came, classic, classic rock, high, high school, humor, music, nostalgia, play, rock, school, song, technology, truly
I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

3 months ago

appearance, casual, confidence, day, humor, impressed, just, public, self-image, ugly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

66 shares on Slack this month:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Spotted on X:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Just shared via Slack:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Just landed via YouTube:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Trending via Telegram:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

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