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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Going bananas on Instagram:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Shared recently on X:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Making waves on Facebook:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Making waves on Pinterest:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Talk about a fashion faux pas! 👽👗 Seems like ET is the odd one out in the galaxy's next top model competition! #FashionForwardInSpace 🌌💫"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Facebook this month:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I drive like I’m immortal.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Spotted on X:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Going viral on Discord:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Going viral on TikTok:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Making waves on YouTube:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Trending via Messenger:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Trending via WeChat:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Spotted on WeChat:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

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