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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Going viral on Messenger:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Making waves on Twitch:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Just landed via Threads:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Freshly posted on X:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Breaking via Threads:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Trending via Instagram:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

1 day ago

Humorous quote about childhood resilience and determination in finding parents.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal game of hide and seek with your parents! It seems like they were really committed to keeping you on your toes – or should I say, your little feet running to catch up with them wherever they went. At least you had a knack for tracking them down, which is a pretty useful skill for a kid to have! Who needs a map when you've got determined parents?

childhood, family, found, humor, joke, kid, moved, nostalgia, parent, parents

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Twitch this month:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Breaking via Discord:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Making waves on Facebook:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Trending via Instagram:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Going viral on Facebook:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Just shared via Messenger:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

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