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Commentary:
Looks like the rhombus got voted off the elementary school island, never to be seen again! 🔺 Farewell, rhombus, you were acute one! 🤣 #GeometryGoneMissing

again, education, elementary, ever, geometry, humor, i, last, memory, rhombus, school, shape, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

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2 months ago

cause, family, house, humor, kids, me, music, parenting, reversed, roles, tell, turn, turn down
I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

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2 months ago

actually, body, ever, friendship, help, hide, hope, humor, i, irony, need, people, vow
If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

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2 months ago

close, comedy, door, haunted, house, humor, open
Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

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2 months ago

bathroom, bathroom break, break, company, company time, humor, office, office supply, procrastination, steal, supply, take, theft, time, why, work, work humor, workplace, workplace humor
How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

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2 months ago

am, appreciation, confidence, forget, humor, i, life, love, me, positivity, self, self appreciation, self-love, silly
Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

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2 months ago

animal, big, bite, cheese, dance, fun, humor, mouse, music, party, party rock, piece, rock, snack, take

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

34 shares on X this month:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

50 shares on X this month:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

68 shares on Slack this month:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

36 shares on Discord this month:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Imagine being social on social media.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Just landed via Threads:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Going viral on WeChat:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Just shared via Instagram:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Just landed via YouTube:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Shared recently on Slack:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

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Activity Log ✨

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨