When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.