Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, Catthew, the mischievous feline with a name that commands authority 😼🤣 Maybe it's the formal tone that will finally make him listen…or maybe he's just too busy planning his next adventure! 🐾 #CatTroubles"

call, cat, Catthew, full, full name, humor, i, name, pet, trouble

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, distraction, feeling, geopolitics, global, humor, information, internet, little, media, much, phone, relief, remember, scroll, scrolling, smartphone, spend, state, stress, stress relief, time
I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, frustration, humor, joke, life, password, reset, resetting, spent, technology
Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

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2 months ago

flirtation, food, humor, i, invitation, joke, midnight, midnight snack, night, over, snack
The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, complain, heaven, humor, ID, manager, reason, sarcasm, want
I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

0

2 months ago

curve, dieting, distance, fitness, flatten, flatten curve, food, humor, i, need, pandemic, refrigerator, social, social distance
Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

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2 months ago

advice, around, friendship, go around it, going, going through it, homie, humor, i, just, said, through, told

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Seen just now on X:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Just shared via Discord:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Breaking via Twitch:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨