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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Just landed via TikTok:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Trending via Telegram:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Spotted on Facebook:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Going viral on Slack:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Going viral on Discord:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

1 week ago

Witty quote about Rorschach and family chaos, highlighting humorous confusion and playful sarcasm.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤔😂 "Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting? Maybe he's just a really artsy therapist trying to amp up his inkblot game. Or perhaps he's a time-traveling psychologist who figured out the best way to mess with you is by showing you some next-level family drama! 🌀🎨 #InkblotPlotTwist"

fighting, guy, humor, parents, pictures, rorschach, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Messenger this month:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

86 shares on Discord this month:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Trending via Messenger:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Going viral on WeChat:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Spotted on Messenger:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Trending via YouTube:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

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