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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Spotted on Discord:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Just landed via Messenger:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Going bananas on TikTok:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Shared recently on Threads:

If I can’t wash dishes to your album, it ain’t that fire.

Live now on Slack:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Witty quote about how spiders mysteriously vanish in tents, adding a humorous camping twist.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'out of sight, out of mind' clearly never had a spidery roommate pulling a Houdini inside their tent! 🕷️🕵️‍♂️ #HideAndSeekChampion"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

70 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

16 shares on Twitch this month:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,581

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

Going viral on WeChat:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Just landed via Threads:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Going viral on Instagram:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Just landed via Slack:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Breaking via Twitch:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

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