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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Making waves on YouTube:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Breaking via YouTube:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Going viral on Instagram:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Just shared via X:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

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Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the pun-tastic potential of blending family dynamics with fancy French phrases! 😄🇫🇷 It's certainly a faux pas not to appreciate the humor in our everyday relationships. Step aside, stepdad, here comes the faux pas with all its accidental charm! 😉 #DadJokeGoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Telegram this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

59 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,522

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Going viral on Twitch:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Just shared via WeChat:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Just landed via Slack:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Live now on Discord:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

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