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Commentary:
"Maybe aliens are avoiding us because they heard how we never respond to voicemails 🌌👽 Let's work on proving we're not the only intelligent species right here on Earth 🔍🌍 #smartypants"

aliens, Earth, everyone, existence, exploration, humor, intelligent, intelligent life, irony, life, looking, perspective, space, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

2 weeks ago

distraction, humor, media, procrastination, scroll, scrolling, social, social media, technology, time, year
Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

2 weeks ago

chaos, confusion, gathering, humor, jumping, me, mental, mind, struggle, thought, thoughts
The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

2 weeks ago

anxiety, day, day terror, fear, half, humor, me, much, night, night terror, nightmare, sarcasm, scare, terror, terrors
Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

3 weeks ago

advice, date, food, guys, humor, hungry, just, pantry, relationships, trying
I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

4 weeks ago

dating, flirt, humor, i, insult, interaction, sarcasm, skills, social, social skills, wit
What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

4 weeks ago

advice, babe, communication, give, humor, irony, others, own, relationship, sarcasm, wrong

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

56 shares on X this month:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

25 shares on Twitch this month:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

53 shares on X this month:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

66 shares on X this month:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Going viral on WeChat:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Seen just now on Discord:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Freshly posted on X:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Trending via WeChat:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Making waves on Twitch:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Just shared via Reddit:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Making waves on Discord:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Keep the laugh going 😂

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨