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Commentary:
"Maybe aliens are avoiding us because they heard how we never respond to voicemails 🌌👽 Let's work on proving we're not the only intelligent species right here on Earth 🔍🌍 #smartypants"

aliens, Earth, everyone, existence, exploration, humor, intelligent, intelligent life, irony, life, looking, perspective, space, start

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79 shares on YouTube this month:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

85 shares on Discord this month:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Making waves on Twitch:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Just shared via Instagram:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Going viral on Snapchat:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Making waves on YouTube:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

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Activity Log ✨

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Keep the laugh going 😂

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨