Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

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Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

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The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

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Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

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All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

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9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

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I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

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One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.